Well here it is April 9th, 2009. Grandpa Harding grows weaker by the day. They decided not to put a feeding tube in. His bladder cancer is out of control and his kidney doesn't make enough red blood cells. They unhooked all his IV's and he is now in hospice. It is heart breaking to watch someone's earthly body slowly die. I wanted him and Grandma to come here. I told them. I tried to talk everyone into it. I couldn't. Grandma will not leave him. She is so cute and sweet and it is even harder to watch her go through this. I keep telling her she will stay goodby for just a moment in time. Even five years is a moment in the eternal view.

I can blog about this because my blog is only open to my best friends and family. They are giving Grandpa a feeding tube today. They asked Grandma if they should. She said yes. Life is full of really difficult decisions. I often wonder if medical science hasn't gone so far that we extend suffering because we can? Or do we keep people alive because we cannot let them go for a while? Or if we choose to let them go, did we make a mistake when they could have gotten better? I guess time will tell and whatever time tell us in the end, we must always know that we just do the best we can in a time that is so hard we just get through it.

Today is another day sitting in the office. My Father-in-law is really sick. He turns 98 in April. He is a wonderful man. It is interesting watching my cute mother-in-law take care of him. She stays at the hospital night and day. Every once in a while we get her to come stay with us to catch up a little on her sleep. Watching her is a lesson in love and devotion. When we leave with her at night, she tells the nurses to take good care of him, because he is a wonderful man. She will kiss him on the forehead so tenderly. Her neck was sore last night because she had been bent over rubbing his feet to make him feel better. She is 95 and almost blind. I can't tell you how much I love them. I can hardly think of saying good by to them for a moment in time, but I really do not want Fred (My Father-in-law to suffer at all.) Live is always full of change.

I am sitting in the office on a Saturday waiting for the phone to ring. It is a really slow economy right now, so we are keeping the office open on Saturday. I have gone back to school and it is taking a lot of time. I guess when you only have 10 classes left to take you should finish, even if you are 60. I did find out I am not the oldest person in the BYU BGS program. There is a man that is 87. I would like to meet him someday. My cute mother in law and the Grandmother of my kids (whom I adore) will turn 95 on Thursday. We are having a little dinner party at our home. I will try to get some pictures and post them. I will write a little about this cute mother in law of mine in honor of her 95th birthday. In one simple word she is an angel with a little bit of fire in her. I have honestly never heard her say a really unkind word about anyone. She loves her family and they know it. She is generous to a fault. They have lived in the same home for 70 years. It is in Provo. It is a little home but there is a warmth there that could only come from the spirit. She has always helped everyone. She used to drive people in her ward to the doctor when she was 30 years older than them. She has lost her eyesight now, but her mind is sharper than mine and probably most other people. I have always felt her complete support. She fights for her family. That is when the fire comes out of her. I love her!

OK-My cute Jessica tagged me again. I am supposed to say six things you might not know about me. It is sad because everyone knows everything about me-because I tell all. (Unless Dennis has forbidden me to talk about it and my life is threatened by him)
1. I am painfully shy. Most people do not believe this, but it is true. I just force myself to do the things that make me uncomfortable. 2. I might complain about working too hard, but I like to work. I work or exercise to relieve stress or anger. If you see me working really really hard, I am usually really angry. 3. I like to sleep a lot, but only at night. I really like to get up early in the morning. I do not like to lose a minute of day light. I like all the blinds open. I do not like dark at all. 4. I am scared of the dark. I have night terrors. Mostly I think spiders getting on me. 5. I do not like board games because I am not very competitive when it comes to games. 6. I am really competitive when I am taking a school class and it comes to grades. It is kind of crazy but every test is a competition. 7. BYU basketball makes me bight my fingernails.

OK--I better blog about turning 60, which I experienced a couple of days ago. Here is a list of the good things about turning 60.
1. Everyone is really nice to you. (I hope it is not because they feel sorry for you)
2. People joke a lot about how old you are and it is fun.
3. Your mother in law (who is an angel) tells you that you are perfect.
4. By the time you are 60 your life is full of wonderful people. Family, Kids, Grand kids,
and lifetime friends. If you are really really lucky you might still have a parent or two hanging around.
5. You might get taken to dinner a lot.
6. You are still young enough to accomplish important goals, and old enough to not get too upset if you don't get them done.
7. You do not feel 60.
8. You quit worrying so much about your body, and you exercise to feel better, not to look better. It takes quite a bit of pressure off.
9. If your husband gives you workout shoes it is a compliment rather than an insult.
10. You are glad you made it this far. and you are thankful for the blessings of a good life and good family.
11. You love people more, you appreciate them more, and each moment is pleasure.
12. You can look back at some of your trials with gratitude, understanding they are the thread that has made you who you are.
13. You are thankful everyday for the wonderful kids you have, their spouses and there children.
14. You are glad that you have a spouse!

This is our family picture of our river trip on the Salmon this summer. It is about the most fun I have had in a long time. If was filled with friends and family. Hot days with white sandy beaches, clear blue sky, and fun, fun, whitewater rapids. The best were my cute grand kids that were old enough to go. I hope I never get too old to go on the river. I want to go with all my grand kids some day.

This is Eliza and Kiya. They rode everyday like this. We pulled them inside the boat for the big rapids, but on all the little rapids they rode and screamed everytime they got splashed. It was a lot.

I especially wished while we were on this trip that my Dad could have seen his Great Grand kids enjoying the river. (Maybe he did see them)